Its hard to do both. Gran is dying. It won't be long. At the moment our family is often together, sharing ourselves between homes and the hospital, being with her, being with each other. Its hard to let go. Its hard to not want to do everything you can to keep them present in your life because that's how its always been. Next to my parents and siblings, my grandparents have known me the longest. They have passed on their wisdom to the later generations.
But then it is time to let go. A time to release the person into the arms of our loving God, trusting in the mercy and grace of our Saviour who died for us. We have to let go because we can't keep holding someone back from where they are meant to be. At some point we all go on further. We continue our journey into the much-anticipated unknown, but its something we must do by ourselves, or rather, hand in hand with God.
And so we hold onto each other. And we hold onto the promises of God. We remember the good things, the funny things, the quirky things. We hold onto the person that Gran really is, not a frail shadow lying in a hospital bed, but the beautiful woman with the warm smile who loved to play the piano and listen to us play and sing for her. The woman who would always have special wine glasses for us to drink out of and who often forgot the garlic bread when we sat down to dinner. The woman who thought nothing of making huge pavlovas at Christmas but always claiming she couldn't do fruit cake. Gran the collector of beautiful and precious things and who would give us generous monetary gifts just because she could.
Gran, I've said goodbye. I'll never forget you. Arohanui and farewell. Godspeed. Please know that God is a loving and gracious God and has hands open to receive you.
